The Castle I Built

I used to keep the castle in my mind 

Locked and shut.

Checked the bolts each night, 

Making sure to keep out

All the unwanted guests

Keeping myself secure and safe.

Slowly I dug a moat, turning my castle into a fortress

Where I am the queen.

And I sit high in the tower that I built for myself,

Far away from the chaos beyond the walls

Away from the fear, the pain, the disorder.

And in my castle, I thought I was safe

I thought I had built a place where nothing bad 

Could ever reach me.

And I succeeded

Nothing bad penetrated my thick ivory walls,

Nothing reached me

Nothing at all.

And I was not a queen living in a castle,

But a lonely girl, 

Just barely surviving.

So slowly I began to let down my walls

I built a bridge across my moat,

And slowly let people in.

I let in the chaos and the change that I had for so long shut out,

And slowly let myself

See beyond a thick ivory wall.