Being a Woman

I don’t hate the fact that I’ll probably never be paid the same as a man

It doesn’t bother me that he lifts more weight than I humanly can

But I despise, with every bone in my body, that I am a woman

I’ll never get to say outloud the jokes I think of in my dirty mind

I don’t want to come off as crude, crass, or unkind

I feel like I’m an elephant wobbling on a circus ball

I want to be cute, tiny, but I want also to be tall

I want to squash men like mice and laugh at them all

But I also want to be like Barbie with her beauty and her body

I want to be unique and authentic, but also a plastic copy

I am smarter than any boy in my school

And because of this I’ll never be cool

I walk into a classroom and I’ll always be the one to raise a hand

I could teach them physics and literature but they’ll never understand

Because in their mind, I’ll never be as good as a man

I know what they are thinking, when they try to act impressed

Believing they could always do better if they really gave it their best

Because that's what men do

They’ll win in their minds, so they’ll bet against you

To be honest, I don’t really care about feminism and rights

Because we’ll throw out our razors but we’ll keep our tights

Because even if we get equal pay and are treated well

We’ll be out of the cage but the sky will become a cell

Men will expect praise when they put a woman in a higher chair

But his was delicately carved out of wood and hers appeared from thin air

It’s like they don’t know the meaning of fair?

I don’t want to be awarded a position because I have two x chromosomes

You can’t just take us out of homes

And expect us to respect our thrones

We don’t want to be put in a box

But when we’re hired, we know you check them off

You smirk at our bodies and you do that cringy man hug

Taking a sip from your Dad Of The Year mug

I don’t want things to get better for us

It will only give them something else to discuss

To hold above our halo adorned heads

Tearing our dignity to shreds

I want to be a man, or rather I wish I was born one

If you can’t beat ’em, join them

I want to laugh at how annoying girls are

They’re trashy makeup and drama that goes too far

I want to make crude jokes and say things not politically correct

Because if you’re a guy, it's what they already expect

I know I could beat a man in almost anything that challenged me

I just hate that he’d still clap when I am the one to take home the trophy

Because even though he lost, he's being what a man’s meant to be

I’lll hold up my hands and flash a victory grin

But everyone knows the camera’s still on him